The spirit is willing but the flesh... not so much. Frankly with life being what it is I haven't gotten a lick of anything done on Restart. I mean nothing.
I'm now at the point where I look at myself and ask if I am really a writer... or if I just want to be seen that way so badly that I've deluded myself.
Aren't writers... real writers I mean... supposed to like writ frequently? At least every other day or so. That's sure what it seems like it's supposed to be. Me... I have all this life stuff going on... work and family and stuff. I never seem to be able to let my mind relax enough to actually go into creative mode any more.
So.. am I a fraud? Am I deluding myself? Who knows.... frankly at this point, who cares. I suppose eventually I'll get back to the writing... not that there is a major rush... I don't have people beating down my door for my work... hell... sadly my own family hasn't even read my first book.
I feel I'm a ... I dunno what... fraud I guess is the only word. I'm sharing this and it'd be nice if someone out there in cyber-space commented.... maybe gave me some hope or something, but I'm not holding my breath.
My two cents: there is no such thing as a "real" writer. If you write, you're a writer. Period.
ReplyDeleteThere is no formula that can MAKE someone a "real" writer. All writers, published and unpublished, have different processes. Some get manic and lock themselves away and do it ALLATONETIME. Some write once a month, once a year, every day, every other day. Some have outlines, some freeform.
I understand where you're coming from. I have to seriously kick myself in the teeth sometimes and say, "You ARE a photographer," but I think that self-kicking is important. Your validation needs to be internal, not external. So, yes, I can tell you you're a writer all damn day, but you need to hear YOURSELF say it.